Promise
by Kildren
Summary: Elsa is in love with Anna, and she knows her dreams can't come true. Rated T to be safe. [Modern AU. Unrequited Love. CHARACTER DEATH]


**Update 0209: I re-read it and felt like it wasn't complete, so I added something in the end.**

**Update 0215: Found some typos and fixed them.**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen, which makes me feel sad.**

**WARNING: Character deaths. Angst story. Incestuous love (one-sided though).**

**A/N:  
>This fic was inspired by Sam Tsui's mashup of Let it go [Frozen] and Let her go [Passengers].<br>Originally this was suppose to be a 'watch you from afar, as long as you're happy I'm happy' kinda thing, but...  
>I don't know how it turned out like this! (Sob)<br>Criticism is accepted, and critiques are appreciated.  
><strong>

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><p>When Elsa became apparent to her feelings for a certain someone, she ran away.<p>

Even if she was young at that time, she already knew what was happening.

And it couldn't. No matter how much she wished for it.

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Six years had passed since she last saw Anna. For the past few years, Elsa thought if she had made a mistake. Heck, Anna was only twelve at the time when she thought she was falling for her. She thought maybe it was wrong for her to leave like that. Maybe if she stuck around for a few more years, that crush she was having would be gone. Maybe it was just an adolescent mistake she made on her part, thinking she had incestuous love for her baby sister.

So when her parents called to tell her that Anna's high school graduation was coming up, she decided to go take a look. Elsa hadn't told her parents she would be going, because now she wasn't sure of her feelings. If she still had that kind of love for her sister, she would just run again; and if she realized it was just a mistake she could turn her visit into a surprise.

_God why did I decide to come?_

Elsa tried to squeeze herself through hordes crying brats and their happy families. She realized that the ceremony was already over when she arrived, but surely Anna would still be here and finding her shouldn't be that hard. To her luck, she heard a few of those brats calling Anna's name.

She saw a strikingly beautiful girl run up to them and hug them. _Anna?_ Elsa couldn't believe it was her baby sister. She had to make sure.

She waved down the school photographer and thrust 20 bucks in his hands. "20 bucks and you lend me your SLR for a few minutes." The man nodded dumbly as she took of the SLR from his neck and put it on her own. She held the camera to her face, making sure that Anna wouldn't be able to get a proper look at her face.

"Hey kids!"

They all turned and looked. "School photographer, now huddle and get ready for a picture!" The brats quickly stood in their positions and smiled at her. Elsa felt her heart flutter when she saw Anna's bright smile. That strawberry blonde hair was still in her signature pig tails style, but puberty changed her. Her face became more elongated, her eyes were a bit smaller than when she was little (but still counted as big _and_ mesmerizing), her lips turned from cute to kissable, and through that loose gown she could see her sister had grown fuller in certain parts, and her hips—

Elsa's eyes narrowed when she saw a strong arm around her sister's waist. She pressed on the shutter a few more times, but her focus was on the guy beside Anna. The guy tried to steal kisses from Anna, but the later just blushed and reprimanded him saying that they were in the middle of taking pictures. Kristoff, she heard.

Her hands gripped tightly on the camera. So this Kristoff guy was her boyfriend? Of course Anna would get a boyfriend, if not now eventually she would. How could someone like her, a sick and disgusting person that had incestuous love for her sister, even compare?

"Thank kids, have a great day." With that she turned and pulled the SLR off her neck, also taking the SD card out before she reached the school photographer. "Thanks." And with a thrust she returned it to him and walked away quickly, almost running.

She ran to her car and slammed the door shut. Elsa let out a shaky breath as she tried to calm herself. She rested her head on the steering wheel and gripped it so hard that her knuckles turned white. She let out a sob when she realized that she indeed loved her sister in that way, and it was a dream that could never happen.

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><p>It wasn't for another year that Elsa saw Anna again.<p>

This time, it was because the death of their parents. After Anna's graduation, Elsa had moved to another city without telling them where she lived, changing all her contact information. During the year she had come to the conclusion that this was better than getting involved in Anna's life. She had to let go of her, let go of her feelings. Just when she thought she could forget about the past, Anna had somehow gotten hold of her number and called.

"…Elsa?"

Elsa was going over her voice mails when she heard her sister's voice. Elsa swore her heart was going to break into a thousand pieces. Anna's voice sounded raw from crying, her voice merely a whisper filled with uncertainty.

"Elsa…god is this even the right number?" Tears started forming in Elsa's eyes. "Elsa…our parents are _dead_. Do you know about that airplane crash? Mom and dad…they were on that plane…" Elsa heard more sniffling. "Elsa…they were spending their anniversary together you know? And just when they were coming back…" Sniffling turned into sobbing uncontrollably. _Please, no more Anna! Don't…_Elsa felt her heart clench with so much pain at the sound of her sister's voice.

Anna's voice turned from sad to angry. "You know what? Fuck you, Elsa!" She cringed at the outburst. "Where have you been all these years? Seven years, Elsa, _seven_. I don't understand you at all! Why did you leave? Were you not happy with us? With me? What did we ever do to you Elsa, how could you be so cruel, so _heartless_…"

"Stop it! STOP IT!" Elsa shouted to no one in particular. Her body shook as she crumpled to the floor, hands desperately clutching on her arms hugging herself. She never felt so much pain in her life...she never wanted Anna to hate her, and she definitely _wasn't_ unhappy with the times they spent together.

She loved her. Couldn't she just try and understand?

_No she can't you fucker because you didn't even tell her!_

Anna's voice broke the silence. "Elsa…can't you just come back home for once? For their funeral? You're the only family I have left…" With that, Anna hung up.

A few weeks later, Elsa found herself standing in the cemetery where her parents were to be buried. She stood a fair distance away and watched as the funeral proceeded. That Kristoff guy was there too. The hate she had for him turned into trust, because now he was the only person she could rely on. If he was there, Anna could make it through. Elsa spotted an empty chair, and realized that Anna had left her a place.

And that broke her heart all over again. After all these years Anna was still clinging on to hope that they would reconcile at some point. Tears rolled down Elsa's cheeks. _You're not alone Anna…even if you don't have me, you have Kristoff to take care of you…_

That was the last time she saw Anna.

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><p>Four years later, Elsa found herself rushing towards the hospital straight from the airport, remembering the conversation she had with the hospital.<p>

_"Miss Elsa? This is Arendelle Hospital."_

_"What's wrong?" Elsa panicked. "Is this about Anna?" _

_"Please calm down. Your sister Anna and her husband Kristoff have had an accident and they are in critical condition—"_

_Elsa hung up without listening to the end. She dashed out and immediately headed towards home…where Anna was._

Elsa burst into the hospital. She ran to the front desk, trying her hardest not to scream. "Where is Anna?" _Crap, what was Kristoff's last name, oh!_ "Anna Bjorgman!"

The nurse told her and she ran off to the room. _Anna, Anna! Please please please be okay—_

Her heart stopped when she saw the room was empty. "Anna? Anna!" She looked around frantically. She stormed out and grabbed hold of the first doctor she saw.

"Where is Anna?" She practically screamed, shaking the doctor. "Where is my sister! Tell me you fucking bastard!" Right now she couldn't care less about what people thought about her. "Anna where…where…Anna where are you…"

Suddenly she felt like all her energy was spent and slumped against the doctor. Breathing somehow became difficult and she felt like she was suffocating. The doctor gently led her to one of the chairs and sat her down. "Listen, Miss Elsa." said the doctor as he tried to sooth her. "I'm sorry to say…that your sister and her husband—"

"They've gone, haven't they…" Elsa stated, elbows on her knees, hands clutching her head and face looking at the ground. "They've gone." she whispered. _Anna, my baby sister, my only love and the last of my family..._

The doctor moved his hand to give her shoulder a reassuring pat. "Yes, but that's not all." Elsa looked up at him, eyes with surprise. "The child that your sister was bearing miraculously survived. Though it's premature, I predict after one or two months in the incubator she should be able to leave."

"A baby girl…?" Her eyes swelled up with tears again. Not because she was sad, but because she was happy. A baby. A baby girl. Anna's child. Her_ niece_.

"Yes," the doctor smiled. "Before you sister passed…she wanted you to be the guardian for her baby." After patting her shoulder again, the doctor left Elsa alone and let the news sink in.

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><p>A few months later, after taking care of Anna and Kristoff's funeral and other tasks, Elsa took the baby back to her apartment.<p>

After setting the baby into the crib she struggled to put to together, she sat down in her armchair. Everything starting from Anna's death seemed like a blur. She was surprised that the people who came to the funeral actually knew who she was. It saddened her more when she realized that Anna had never given up on her while all she did was push her away.

Elsa moved to pick up a box, opening the lid to reveal letters Anna had written. All addressed to Elsa. She found it while sorting through Anna and Kristoff's belongings. Anna had started writing the letters since she was twelve, around the time Elsa had left.

Elsa took a deep breath. Months ago she couldn't bring herself to read them, mostly because she was afraid to see the truth, to know what Anna truly thought about her. Elsa bit her lower lip, considering whether to read them at all. Maybe she should have just burned them all, she thought dejectedly.

The platinum blonde glanced at the baby in the crib and realized that she had to read them. Life was going to be different from now on, and if she wanted to start fresh she would have to face her fears, get over it and let it go. She would have to leave Anna behind, and she couldn't, not without knowing what Anna wanted to tell her all these years.

Elsa picked up the one dated recently, about a month before the crash. With trembling fingers she opened the letter, pulling out the contents.

_"Elsa…how are you doing? I feel funny for writing this at the beginning of every letter._

_ Anyways…I was sorting through these letters I've written to you, and it surprised me at how much emotions I've put in to each and every one of them. The feelings I have had over time, they were all so raw, so powerful that I couldn't believe I had written them. Some of those feelings were long gone before I even realized it._

_I never understood why you left. One day you just decided to shut me out and move into the basement, the next thing was you moving out of the house once you graduated high school. Suddenly, my big sister wasn't there for me anymore. You weren't there to celebrate my elementary school graduation, you weren't there when I was happy I got my first boyfriend, you weren't there to comfort me when that guy tried to **rape** me when I said no…you weren't there when I went through slight depression, you weren't there when I finally found the right guy who was beside me all along, and you weren't there when I graduated high school. _

_No, actually I thought you were there. I thought I caught a glimpse of your platinum blonde hair, I thought I felt your presence just near my somewhere…I thought you came but when I asked Mom and Dad they just shook their heads and said you didn't. _

_Even if you did come, there were still so many times that you weren't there for me, Elsa. But I know for a fact that you came to the funeral. I saw you standing far away, and all I wanted to do was rush towards you—and I couldn't, because when I took my eyes off you for a second, you were already gone, Elsa. Gone **again**. I desperately convinced myself that you really came, that I didn't hallucinate…I thought for one second, that you still cared about me, still cared about **us**, but was I wrong? Was I wrong to hope for that? _

_I thought you would be here for my graduation. I thought you would be here for my engagement, for my wedding. I thought you would be here to share the joy of me preparing to be a mother…but again you weren't. I thought you would at least show up at the important days in my life, Elsa, but again I was disappointed._

_Why, Elsa? We used to be best buddies. What happened? People kept telling me to give up on you, saying that people who left wanted to be left alone…but **no one** wants to be alone, right? I know what alone feels like, and I don't want you to feel that way too. _

_Even though I found out where you lived Elsa, you didn't move away. You didn't change numbers again. I felt like you were giving me a chance…or maybe you were giving yourself a chance to patch things up between us…but I couldn't Elsa._

_After all these years, I couldn't bring myself to call you again, to visit you. Every time I wanted to, I just **couldn't**. I thought I was ready to see you anytime, but I guess I wasn't…I'm so afraid, Elsa, afraid that you would just shut the door on me. Afraid that if I went to see you, you would be gone again…_

_Elsa…Elsa…**Elsa**. Your name is starting to become strange on my lips, unfamiliar to my ears. I'm so scared, Elsa. I don't want to forget you…_

_I love you, Elsa. After everything I've been through, I still love you so much to the point my heart hurts. I still love you, while wondering if you ever loved me at all…"_

The letter ended there abruptly. Anna had started crying, to the point where she couldn't write anymore. Elsa gripped at the letter, a mixture of anger and sadness washing all over her. How could she be so selfish? How could she have left Anna alone? How could she have—

Elsa slammed a fist on the coffee table again and again until the sound of crying shook her out of her anger. She quickly walked towards the baby and picked her up, cradling her against her chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" she repeated to no one in particular.

After what seemed like hours, the baby finally went to sleep. Elsa let her fingers trace along the baby's face, from her little tuff of strawberry blonde hair to her bluish eyes to the little freckles and cute little chin. "You look just like Anna…" she silently whispered.

She set the baby back in her crib and picked up a picture frame. She let her hands smooth over the picture of Anna, the one she had took at her graduation.

"I promise you Anna…this time, no matter what happens I'll be there for her. I'll make it up to you by loving her more than I ever loved you."

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_Thank you, Elsa._

_._

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><p><strong>AN:  
>Can't say "I hope you enjoyed it" can I?<br>Anyhow, thanks for sticking around and finishing the story.**


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